Connect

Mother Teresa use to tell the sisters to greet everyone they come in contact with throughout the day with a smile.  And they lived it.  One day I was riding down the road when it occurred to me that I loved sharing that bit of information, but I didn’t smile at everyone I met.  Are you kidding?  That meant I would have to make eye contact with a stranger, who could be dangerous or something (LOL), and then I would have to smile like I meant it. 

I can laugh out loud about it now, because I’ve been doing it for the past seven years, and I can honestly say that there is nothing to fear.  It’s pretty special when someone smiles big and waves back at you.  I feel my heart swell and my smile widens more as I connect with another.  It just goes to show how beautiful and magical life is when you step out of your comfort zone.    

But if you never try it, you’ll never know the majesty of unleashing your heart upon the world.  If you really want to feel powerful then release a hug here and there. Hugs shouldn’t be limited to family and friends only.  The lonely need hugs more than anyone.

Research has shown that touch is fundamental for human communication, bonding, and health.  Most western cultures, including the U.S., are considered to be touch deprived. 

According to an article in the Greater Good, Dacher Keltner reported that people in France touched each other up to 110 times per hour, while friends in Puerto Rico touched up to 180 times.  Here in the U.S. that number was 2 times, and only during a “burst of enthusiasm.”  But not all is lost to the U.S., in England the number was reduced to zero times.

In addition, a French psychologist discovered that when teachers give a pat on the back to their students, the student becomes three times more likely to speak up in class.

We all need each other.  We have this ability to lift each other high, and make the world a better place and there is nothing hard about it.  It simply begins with a smile followed by a wave of the hand. 

(greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/hands_on_research)

 

 

 

USE KIND WORDS -

“Pretty words are not always true, and true words are not always pretty.”

“Characterize people by their actions and you’ll never be fooled by their words.”

“Words can inspire or words can

destroy -  choose your words wisely.”

 

 

 

 

 

Suicide

I don’t know why, but on Saturday I found myself in a very dark place.  I felt so sad, and I found myself crying, a lot!  Regardless of how much I wanted to turn my thoughts around, I could not.  All hope was lost.  We live on a fucked up little planet with fucked up little people who are happy slinging shit at one another, like primates. I’m not sure as to what exactly triggered all this, but I had to stop this blackness that creped deep into my soul.  My focus quickly turned to suicide.  So I researched the subject and sorrow gripped my heart even tighter. 

Suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death in the United States.  Each year 44,193 Americans die by suicide; numbers are estimated to be higher; but the stigma attached to suicide often leads to underreporting.   For every suicide it is estimated there were 25 others who attempted to kill themselves.  On average there are 121 suicides per day.  Firearms account for almost 50% of all suicides.   Men die by suicide 3.5 times more often than women, yet females attempt suicide 3 times more than males.  The rate is the highest among middle aged men (white men in particular). 

Wyoming has the most suicides in the U.S.  Alaska ranks 2^nd, Montana 3^rd, New Mexico 4^th, Utah 5^th, Idaho 6^th, and the State of Florida ranks 29^th.  Over twice as many people die by suicide in the State of Florida annually than by homicide. 

The New York Times reported, in April 2016, that suicides surged to its highest rates in nearly 30 years.  The rates rose by 2% per year beginning in 2006.  The article went on to say that, “American Indians had the sharpest rise of all racial and ethnic groups, with rates rising by 89 percent for women and 38 percent for men. White middle-aged women had an increase of 80 percent.”

Collectively we are not happy people; we have to turn this all around and bring happy back.  2006 is the year of the Amish school shootings.    It’s the year of the Enron trial, and the year Saddam Hussein was sentenced to death; money, guns and oil.

You know there’s a serious issue when a society’s self destructive behavior impacts a self-sufficient community that is totally disengaged from the modern civilization.  Events such as 9-11, and the Amish schools shootings serve as road signs as to what’s to come, if we continue down this road of destruction. 

By Saturday afternoon, I just shut down.  I drowned myself in alcohol until I couldn’t think anymore, and passed out early with an upset stomach.  It was dark when I awoke, and I found myself in regret for wasting an entire day in such a manner. 

I rose early Sunday morning anticipating a day at the beach.  But I still wasn’t myself.  Instead of music thumping my ear drums, I found myself listening to Louise Hay affirmations that I had recorded from YouTube, as I rooted myself to the Earth and absorbed the radiating energy of the sun. 

By the end of the day I was feeling more like myself, and even more so on Monday.  I can not tell you how I was drawn into such a dark place that Saturday, but I can tell you this, it’ll get better.  The more we work on healing our own sorrow, the better our world becomes.

(afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics)

Suicide Prevention Hotlines Serving Pensacola

850-438-1617 or 850-623-6363

 

Trust Me

No I'm not talking about the banking definition of trust; I'm talking about a belief in reliability, truth, and strength of someone or something.  Trust involves faith in another to be loyal and sincere.   We trust our friends to be non-judgmental and to keep our secrets, and when it comes to our lovers, trust can include devotion to love one above all others.  It’s pretty evident that trust is the foundation of good health, in addition to hearty relationships.

But trust shouldn’t end with family and friends.  We should be able to trust our neighbors, the media, or the EPA, FBI, CIA, Congress, as well as the office of the President, but we don’t.  That trust has been broken.  Instead of seeing the best of others, we seem to be fixated on the dark side; stuck in a broken system of mistrust. 

I spent five years as an environmental activist, and I can tell you that I did not trust the EPA for nothing.  I even met people who represented the EPA, who seemed very concerned and well educated, but I knew money talked and hands were out palms up.  The EPA wasn’t ruling in favor of a healthy human environment, they were supporting a long outdated fossil fuels industry that has been proven to be detrimental to human health.  And today, with a new administration, there’s talk of demolishing the Environmental Protection Agency all together. 

I had to ask myself is this a good thing or a bad thing?  I mean really, if the EPA wasn’t doing their job in the first place, why bother keeping the agency around? 

Of course I do not think this is a good thing, but as I see all this crazy whipping around an unstable government, I see our Court System working as it was intended.  Our system of checks and balances is still in place.  I see twenty times the people protesting for our Earth Mother in the past four months than I had in the past seven years, here in Pensacola.  But most of all, I realize that my lack of trust and assumptions of the EPA (government) was contributing to the ciaos we see today.  Never has this been so clear as when I attended a pipeline march/rally on February 12th.

As I stood in protest, a young woman rose before the crowd to speak.  Her heart swelled with each spoken word. It didn’t take long for her voice to begin breaking up, as she bravely tried to fight the tears.  I use the word brave, because that is what it takes to open your heart to others, especially when you’re in the spotlight of a hundred pairs of stranger eyes.  That’s trust!

People are not governments.  People are individual persons.  The problem is not one of a government, but of us individuals; you and me.  Our lack of trust leaves no room for love to grow.  It is not boarder fences we need to be concerned with, but instead it is the fences we build around our hearts we need to fear.  We have to quit shutting each other out and embrace each other instead; we have to matter to each other.  Your fight for justice is my fight for justice.  When we stand together, we can change the world.  Trust me.

 

 

 

Critisim

Being too critical of others can make you a mean-spirited person, regardless if you’re the perpetrator or the victim.  People criticize their selves as well as others for many reasons.  Some of us use criticism with the intention of protecting others, or when we feel the need to protect our own self-image.  Our intentions may be honorable, but when we are critical of others, we are focusing on the negative, instead of the good.

Other words that share meaning with the word critical include: demanding, belittling, condemning, cynical, demeaning, derogatory, sarcastic, fault-finding, and scolding. 

Yet with proper balance, criticism can be a good thing. Critical thinking is a necessity to our evolution.  If it wasn’t for the criticism of others, would we attempt to better ourselves? 

To find balance, we need to train our minds to look for the good. Ron Potter-Efron, the author of, “Stop The Anger Now,” suggests setting a goal for 24 hours to notice how many good things about the world and your surroundings as you can.  Do this everyday for a month.  This will assist in training your brain to think differently.

Second, Efron suggest that during those moments you when you see only the bad points of a situation, that you set a goal to see the good.  He further suggests using the following question, “I could have complained about ___________, but instead I noticed ___________.”  He says the more we train ourselves to look for the good, the more we’ll see it.

Thirdly, look at the critic within.  If you are critical of others, then you most certainly are demanding of yourself.  Pay attention to the cynical things you think and feel about yourself.  Keep a journal and write these thoughts down; release the burden they bring and lighten up.

(www.neilrosenthal.com/why-am-i-so-critical-others)