As I lie still by myself with
tubes and wires extending from my hands and arms in the darkness of what is, I
couldn’t help but compare myself to my father.
Is this how he felt when he was laying by himself in a hospital bed,
miles away from his family on Christmas day?
I’m only two months short of his
age when he passed away on December 27, in 1996. I thought I was healthier than he was at this
age. I can only imagine the sadness felt
by my mother and my siblings as history repeats.
“Dad, help me through this. This can’t happen again. Not now.
Not like this.”
“Jesus, comfort me on this Holy
night, as you have so many times before.
Wrap me in your love till I glow like a Christmas tree. It would be so much easier to surrender to
you here and now, but please give me the courage and the strength to live.”
There was no warmth of a
Christmas tree, or the festive colors of gold, white, yellow, green and red in
the darkness of the cut and grab critical care room. But, the night felt just as holy as the
Christmas nights passed within my own home of love.
I felt better knowing that my dad
most likely felt the same way on that Christmas holiday in 1996. He wasn’t any more alone than I was at this
moment in time. My dad is with me this
Christmas night, along with the spirits of love that crossed before me.
Apparently, my Christmas wish was
gifted that night. I’m still here and
doing much better than I was. It wasn’t
only my wish that was granted, but also the prayers of those who shinned their
love on me that holiday season.
In case you didn’t read it on a
Facebook post, or I didn’t get a chance to tell you personally - thank you. I love you all; each and every one of
you. I don’t even have to know you; I
love you, because in the end, love is all that matters.
It’s kind of like when someone
you know dies. All the bad things you
may have felt about that person just dissolve and disappear in the atmosphere
somewhere. We become forgiving and the
only thing left is the good that we remember.
Our love is what shines on in this world; and it’s the only thing we can
take with us to the next.
Love on while you can ~ Peace
out!
 |
| My Dad |
To learn to forgive before a tragedy is perhaps the greatest gift of all. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful and personal story. You are loved beyond measure.
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