A KISS FROM A THOUSAND ANCESTORS, short story by Kim Schulz

A KISS FROM A THOUSAND ANCESTORS, short story by Kim Schulz

My Friend Swope

            Cathie (also known as Swope) was the kind of person who would give you the shirt off her back.  Literally.  One time we were drinking and cruising the country roads in Marion County, Ohio when I suddenly had to puke.  Cathie pulled over and actually gave me the shirt on her back to wipe my mouth on.   You know you have found a friend for life when someone gives you the shirt off their back. 

We use to do karaoke before there was karaoke.  The living room was our stage, when we weren’t singing to the steering wheel or a beer bottle. 

Oh, the stories I could tell.

One time Cathie put a Mexican Chicken Dish (full of cheddar cheese) down my garbage disposal and plugged it up good.  We had to go to the basement and snake the clog out; the pipe was above our heads and it was getting late in the night.  We must have been at it for two hours, when Swope decides to have a try at it.

Laugh out loud, Cathie got the clog loose and it all sprayed directly into her mouth.  It was so funny it blew all the tension away.  Even Cathie had to laugh.

More importantly, Cathie was there when I came out of the closet.  If you have never had to do that, then you most likely don’t understand how hard it can be.   Swope stepped up like a big sister, and she had been my best friend at times. 

When we were children she lived down the street from me.  Her dad and my mom worked together and even dated at one time.  Nothing serious though (unfortunately).  Still, we were sisters by heart.  Apparently, nothing could change that.

The last time I spoke to Cathie was when I went up North for my brother’s funeral.  I called, and even stopped by her house, with the hope that she might go to David’s funeral with me.  David and Cathie both lived with me at one time and were well acquainted with each other.  Cathie finally returned my call and said she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want me to catch her crud, so I didn’t see her.  That was three weeks ago.

         My friend took her own life.  I do not know why.  I might not ever know.  All I know is the here and now, and at this moment I celebrate my friend’s life.  Cathie Swope brought smiles to my face and taught me that no matter what I choose to do in life, I will always be loved.  Only love can teach love, and it is the greatest gift of all.  Thank you Cathie Swope.

Cathie Swope & Julie Dawson

Pensacola Beach, FL

My Brother's Funeral

           Funerals are normally sad occasions, but as with everything else in life, there is a good side too. 

            Recently my brother, David, passed away.  By man’s law, David would have been considered my half brother.  David had other siblings as well; 2 brothers and 2 sisters (not including my brother and sister, who had met David, but never developed a relationship with him).  The younger of David’s siblings I had met, but I was not aquatinted with the older two.

            When I heard of my brother’s passing I found myself looking forward to the funeral; I wanted to meet his family so bad and be with the people he loved.    They were stories I had heard about, like the guy who David looked up to as a father, because his dad (my dad) wasn’t present in David’s life, and the sister who lived on an island in Florida; not to mention the older brother who was a steady anchor in David’s life.  I knew their names and I had seen their faces in photos, but I had never sat with them or spoke to them.

            On the day of David’s funeral the forecast called for rain.  As I left the house that day my mom forced an umbrella in my hand despite my declaration of a dry occasion.  And what a beautiful day it turned out to be.  The ride between Marion, Ohio and Bucyrus was so awesome!  There were flowering peas of golden yellow stretching across the fields, with low lying white fluffy clouds hovering above like a blanket of comfort.  The corn looked like it could touch the sky and the first day of fall was present in its leaves.  There were browns, shaded greens and yellows as the fields flew by.  Such a lovely ride as puppy dog faces formed in the sky.

            Then came that awkward moment when you arrive at a funeral and you realize you only really know two faces out of all the people who are there.  But it didn’t take long to find comfort in each other’s presence. We weren’t strangers for long.  And later in the day, when it came time for family pic’s, they invited me in the mix.  My brother’s funeral was everything I hoped it would be - a celebration of everlasting love. That is my brother’s legacy.   

In Memory of

David Joseph Plumley

July 19, 1974 - September 18, 2019

"Live On"

Forgiveness

               Often times when we speak of forgiveness our minds drift to those who have done us unrepeatable harm.  But to forgive is not only for those who have caused us the most wrong.  Forgiveness should also be practiced when it comes to the small things as well.  

            Yesterday a man intentionally pulled out in front of my path on the roadway.  To add further insult, the man who pulled out in front of me was in the passing lane and moving slower than the vehicles in the right lane.  I was angry.

            I pulled into the right lane to pass him.  As I did I noticed that his truck belonged to the city and had a vehicle registration number that I made my wife record as we passed.  “I’m going to call the city on him first thing Monday morning and report his ass!” I said. 

            The next morning I noticed the small piece of paper with the trucks I.D. sitting upon the kitchen table.  I found myself questioning the process of making a complaint.  “Do I really want to take the time to call the city and file a complaint?”

            “Yes, someone needs to teach that man a lesson!  Maybe next time he’ll think twice before he pulls out in front of traffic like that again.”

            But it’s the morning; a new day, and I begin everyday in prayer.  It’s that twenty minute meditation where I rediscover the art of forgiveness.

 

            Forgiveness is a release of resentment.  No matter how great or little the resentment, it still corrupts the spirit and that will eventually lead to physical ailments. 

 

            It’s not a question of right or wrong, it is only what it is.  “Oh, a man pulled out in front of me, and I slowed down.”  End of story.  Only when I allow my ego to become involved does anger become a part of the narrative.  Ego is choice; therefore I chose anger.  

            I don’t want to be anger.  I want to be love, so I choose again, and this time I choose to forgive.  That little piece of paper that was sitting on the kitchen table can be found in the trash can now.

For The Love of Water

            I love the water.  I don’t know of anyone or any other creature on this earth that does not love the water.  My cat has even jumped into my swimming pool before, so don’t give me any lip.  I love the water so much, that my love brought me here to Pensacola, Florida.

            I never imagined living along the Red Neck Rivera would provide such an education as I have obtained in the past seventeen years, but it has been a magical journey indeed.  

            In 2010, the Deepwater Horizon blew up and splashed my white crystal beach with black oil and tar.  I became so depressed and angry.  It still brings tears to my eyes when I think back upon that moment in time.

            But I was blessed beyond imagination, for I had met this lady who was so wise that she had the face of an eagle.  She shared with me the writings of Masaru Emoto, who basically proved that water has memory.   It just hasn’t found a human vase to hold it yet. 

            Different parts of the human body hold more water than other parts, but essentially the human body is roughly 90% water.  What Emoto’s experiments showed was that when good words such as love, forgiveness, and peace were introduced to the water, it would crystallize into these lovely clear shapes.  But when negative words such as hate, anger and even the name Hitler were introduced, the water became cloudy and distorted when it crystallized.  And if water in a container was affected in such a manner, imagine the cause and effect on a human being.

            And this ladies and gentlemen is how I learned to save my world.  In this photo you will see a container of water; they are the same; same container, same water.  On the left is, unfortunately, the water I collected on Good Friday; it doesn’t look well at all.  The surf was really kicking that day.  The picture on the right is what it looks like three months later, after I shook it up in an attempt to duplicate the water as the day I found it.   Except, I have been meditating and praying over the water for the past three months.  Notice the difference?

                      

           I can see quite a difference in the two photos.  And I didn’t spend any great amount of time on it.  I usually focus on the water for a minute after my morning prayers (for three months in this instance).   I taped positive words to the jar, as if the water is reading them.  Then I dress her up with some amethyst beads and a really pretty shell I came across on the west coast, and even a feather I found on the beach the day I collected the water.  And the day I return the water to the Gulf of Mexico, I will meditate upon it again.  I was taught to return the water on a full moon, which is usually when I collect my water as well.  The idea is that the water spreads the love you have given it.

            Just like people.  You can spread love (Jesus Seeds) or spread your anger (Demon Seeds).  But whichever you choose to sow your garden with know that that will be your return.   I spread the love to the Gulf of Mexico on that angry Good Friday when I collected the water I have today.

            I even go as far now as to speak to the water when I’m in the shower.  I greet it every morning with love.  It’s so easy to feel good when the water hits your body, yes?  I feel its healing impact my body as soon as it I step into it.  The water will take the stiffness right out of my shoulders and neck.  So I always thank the water before I step out.  I give it kisses and say, “Spread the love my friend.” 

            But really, I believe water is God.  And in that instance you could say we have really fucked God up bad.   Still, when you begin speaking to the water on the daily, you begin to notice just how special that morning shower is.  It’s like standing naked before the Creator every morning and allowing his/her light to shine down upon you!  It truly lifts the spirit.

When Jesus turned water into wine, he was glorifying God.   Glory to be to Water!

 

Video of the Water I was just telling you about

The Power of the Mind

A week ago Friday I thought my head was going to explode.  It was an excruciating pain at the left rear base of my head and neck.  My first thought was great, what did I do to cause this?   I could only assume it was the stress of knowing my brother was in the hospital fighting for his life again.

Saturday came and I found myself sitting in the shade on the beach.  The wind was coming in from the South and I visualized the stress from the past week blowing away in the wind.  My headache ceased for the moment, but came back strong on the drive home.

Sunday came and the headache was just as irritating.  IB prophen would only dull the pain, but it wouldn’t rid me of the headache completely.  I began to consider the possibility that the pain was that of my brother.  After all, his brain tumor is located on the left (frontal) part of his head.  I could certainly see where maybe the swelling in his brain could be causing pain at his brain stem too.  Especially since his left brain herniated into the right side of his brain.  

And I have been known to pick up on other people’s pain and habits before.  When I first moved to Florida, I began grinding my teeth and felt this tightness in my jaw at night.   It turned out that my friend Connie, who I have known since 1987, and who lived in Pensacola before I arrived, grinds her teeth at night.   As soon as she told me that, the jaw grinding stopped.  

Monday and my  headache is still there and I’m getting tired of taking IB prophen.  And this headache is really getting on my last nerve now.  I’ve tried everything to cut the psychic connection between my brother and me, but nothing worked.  So I phoned the chiropractor and made an appointment for Tuesday.

By Tuesday evening, David is squeezing hands and opens his eyes now and then.  The doctors say its reflex.  But what if the doctors are wrong?  It wouldn’t be the first time.

 So I take that giant leap and I tell his mom that I think maybe David is experiencing pain at the left neck and at the base of his skull.  David’s mom tells me that David has been having spasms at his left arm and hand and that they quit giving David fenytenal two days ago, to help him gain consciences, since he hasn’t woken up.

Still, after Tuesday’s chiropractor appointment, the pain came back just as loud as before.  So this time I broke out my Louise Hay book on mental causes for physical illness and the metaphysical way to overcome them.  

For instance, Louise says neck pain is the side effect of refusing to see other sides of a question; stubbornness and inflexibility.  Or as I like to say, “Closed minded.”  

When Tuesday night arrived and bedtime came around, I changed my prayer for David from, “Please take away his suffering and help him pass away with grace,” to “Help my brother heal and recover from this ordeal.”

And when Wednesday morning arrived, I prayed again.  This time I asked in the name of our Lord Jesus, “Help my brother recover from this awful nightmare.”

By noon David’s mom text me that David woke up, and he’s responding to commands.  He has a long way to go.  He isn’t talking or moving his arms, and I know he can’t walk.  He hasn’t walked on his own for about a year now I guess.    But talk about a miracle!  This dude’s blowing my mind!   

Louise be blowing my mind too.  I changed my thinking and the way I prayed, and when Thursday came the headache was gone.  After supper, when I began to relax for the evening, my shoulder and neck became a little stiff, but no headache.  

I decided to keep my Friday morning chiropractor appointment.  After all, there apparently was still some physical healing needed.  I shared my little story with my doctor, but she didn’t share in my perspective.  And you might not either.  But you’ll never know if you never try.   Believing is seeing for yourself.

If you’re interested, Louise Hay’s book is called, “Heal Your Body.”  I paid $12.99 for a copy on amazon.com.  Louise will show you how to heal the mind; you’ll still need to see your doctor to heal the physical.   

Science has proven that the mind has power over the body.  If you keep healing and falling to bad health again, you most certainly want to consider changing the way you the think.  

A Kiss From A Thousand Ancestors

I come from a small town in Central Ohio.  I don’t visit much.  It can be somewhat depressing, since it’s decline in the 80’s.  But my roots begin there.

The speed limit throughout the entire town is 35 miles per hour; sometimes 25.  Considering the small size of the city, it’s a wonder why anyone would drive a car.  It seems more fitting to ride a bicycle or maybe a scooter.  

The roads are full of holes from the winter freeze and lost dreams of decay stand abandoned to remind all of what was to be.   And my friends are just as lost and rejected as the town itself.  There is no growth, just a slow death of intoxication and coffin nails hidden behind the smoke.  Drugs, dogs and death, said my mom.  

I love my family.  I use to dream that one day I would return home and save the town.  But when I visit, I never cry when I leave.  I make tracks.  Life is much more attractive from a facebook perspective of pretty holiday photos of brightly lit colors; a lot of Sloopy red.  And that’s how I hang that hat.

But when a love one tugs at those roots that connect my heart to my feet, I follow the trail I made and I make my way back.   And that’s just what happened, when my brother David went into a coma, and the doctors declared there was nothing more that they could do for him.  

David is my half brother; my dad’s son.  He’s eleven years younger than I, and he has had a cyst on his brain for sixteen years now.  Statistically, he should have died six years ago.  

This past year has been very difficult for David.  He has had at least three brain surgeries, due to new cyst/tumors; he’s been treated for prostate cancer and liver cancer; he’s had kidney problems; he broke his hip due to falling at home, and while he was in Intensive Care at O.S.U. Medical, he fell out of his bed and broke his other hip, within days of the first break; and he has stroked out two or three times now - all within a year.

But, David blew the doctors away.  David cheated death, and I blazed my way back to Ohio grateful to see a living being and not a corpse in a box.  

A little family history – David doesn’t share my last name, even though by all rights, he should, but our father, for personal reasons, would have nothing to do with David, other than paying child support.   

When David was a child, he skipped school and walked to our dad’s shop just to see him.  I don’t think it went over well from what David had told me.  To this day, I can’t even begin to imagine my dad denying me, in front of the same employees where he prided me as the one most like him; the thought alone shatters my heart.

Although I had very limited contact with David, when he was a child, we became close after dad passed away.  I was just as much of an outcast as David, especially after my father’s passing.  

For example, my other two siblings have met David, but they have never pursued a relationship with him.  His name most likely wouldn’t be spoken and contact would have never been made, if it wasn’t for me.  I make a point of keeping them abreast of David’s condition, because David is family too, and I’m not going to allow them to erase his existence, as if he had never happened.  

My brother is not an ugly mistake that should be hidden.

Dad on the Left - David on the Right

Dad actually tried to contact David a month before he passed away.  He left David a message, referring to his self as “dad.”  But as you can imagine, David was in no hurry to return the phone call, and time ran out sooner than he thought.  That was in 1996.

Within the six years after David and I reconnected, I had introduced him to cousins and aunts that we shared through our father.  But then I moved to Florida, and shortly afterwards, David was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  Because of his condition, David no longer traveled.  Between radiation, chemo, and all the other stuff that goes along with being a cancer patient, he stayed in Ohio to be close to his doctors.

So I’m excited.  I haven’t seen David in quite awhile.  It’s a twelve hour drive from Pensacola to Columbus, and I’ll do it in a day.  It is always breathtaking awe when I twist and roll down the hills of Kentucky on I-71 Northbound and get first sight of Cincinnati.  Ah, heavy sigh of relief; Buckeye Nation at last!

As soon as my tires hit the bridge that crosses the Ohio River, my radio rocks AC/DC’s, “Back in Black.”  A tear came to my eye, and I thank the ancestors for their company on this journey.  Then a flock of birds flew over the car as they came towards me, from right to left; too many to count.   It was a really cool moment to say the least.   “A thousand ancestors,” I said to myself.  Then the song, Jamie’s Cryin’ (by Van Halen) confirmed and sealed the moment to be shared later.

And when I was finally at my bothers side, and I reached down to kiss him on the forehead, I felt those same ancestors surge through my feet upward, and from my lips they kissed David with me.  

The second day I seen David, he looked much better and we actually laughed as we visited.

It has been six weeks since my trip to Ohio, and David has been in the hospital twice since then.  On May 7^th, we were told that the left side of David’s brain herniated into the right side.  The David I knew is gone.  It has been three days, and he is unresponsive.    

Today, as I sit on my back porch, a small feather falls from the sky, from right to left, and I am reminded, “A thousand ancestors.”   Two cardinals dance and play along the fence line as I imagine the joy of such a homecoming.   I can think of no one more deserving.  What was lost on Earth, will found in the next life. 

It has been such a blessing and an honor to call David my brother.   Much love brother.

FORGIVNESS AFFIRMATIONS by Louise Hay

 “You have a choice.  You can choose to stay stuck and bitter, or do yourself a favor by willingly forgiving the past and let it go.  And then move on to create a joyous fulfilling life.  You have the freedom to make your life anything you want it to be, because you have freedom of choice.” – Louise Hay

Daily affirmations are short positive declarations intended to change or affirm a belief.    Repeat an affirmation often and eventually the subconscious mind will accept that affirmation as truth.  Write affirmation(s) out on little post it notes and stick them to the mirror.  Look yourself in the eye and repeat them.

The door to my heart opens inwards.

I move through forgiveness to love.

As I change my thoughts, the world around me changes.

The past is over, so it has no power now.

The thoughts of this moment create my future.

It is no fun being a victim; I refuse to be helpless anymore.

I claim my own power.

I give myself the gift of freedom from the past and move with joy into the now.

There is no problem too big or too small that it cannot be solved with love.

I am ready to be healed, I am willing to forgive, and all is well.

I know that old negative patterns no longer limit me; I let them go with ease.

As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.

I forgive myself for not being perfect; I am living the very best way I know how.

It is now safe for me to release all my childhood traumas and move into love.

I forgiver everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs; I release them with love.

All of the changes in life that lie before me are positive ones, and I am safe.

A White Seashell Healing Circle

From the book, “Dancing With The Wheel – The Medicine Wheel Workbook,” by Sun Bear, Wabun Wind, and Crysalis Mlilligan (1991)


What you need:  Smudge materials, enough white shells to make a circle, (notebook, pen or tape recorder optional).


Estimated time:  One hour.

1.      After smudging an area, make a circle of white seashells large enough to lie in.  Lie down in the circle, inviting in the healing, cleansing powers of the ocean, water elements, and the powers of white that are purity, enlightenment, perfection, balance, peace, tranquility, and evolution.

2.      Allow yourself to doze off.  Be aware of your dreams. They can bring a message to you.

3.      After twenty minutes, or when it feels appropriate to you, slowly get up and dismantle the circle with a prayer of thanks to the different elements that were there for you.  You can do this exercise at the ocean with the additional healing elements of wind and the sound of the rolling waves.

4.      Write or record your impressions.