The Power of the Mind

A week ago Friday I thought my head was going to explode.  It was an excruciating pain at the left rear base of my head and neck.  My first thought was great, what did I do to cause this?   I could only assume it was the stress of knowing my brother was in the hospital fighting for his life again.

Saturday came and I found myself sitting in the shade on the beach.  The wind was coming in from the South and I visualized the stress from the past week blowing away in the wind.  My headache ceased for the moment, but came back strong on the drive home.

Sunday came and the headache was just as irritating.  IB prophen would only dull the pain, but it wouldn’t rid me of the headache completely.  I began to consider the possibility that the pain was that of my brother.  After all, his brain tumor is located on the left (frontal) part of his head.  I could certainly see where maybe the swelling in his brain could be causing pain at his brain stem too.  Especially since his left brain herniated into the right side of his brain.  

And I have been known to pick up on other people’s pain and habits before.  When I first moved to Florida, I began grinding my teeth and felt this tightness in my jaw at night.   It turned out that my friend Connie, who I have known since 1987, and who lived in Pensacola before I arrived, grinds her teeth at night.   As soon as she told me that, the jaw grinding stopped.  

Monday and my  headache is still there and I’m getting tired of taking IB prophen.  And this headache is really getting on my last nerve now.  I’ve tried everything to cut the psychic connection between my brother and me, but nothing worked.  So I phoned the chiropractor and made an appointment for Tuesday.

By Tuesday evening, David is squeezing hands and opens his eyes now and then.  The doctors say its reflex.  But what if the doctors are wrong?  It wouldn’t be the first time.

 So I take that giant leap and I tell his mom that I think maybe David is experiencing pain at the left neck and at the base of his skull.  David’s mom tells me that David has been having spasms at his left arm and hand and that they quit giving David fenytenal two days ago, to help him gain consciences, since he hasn’t woken up.

Still, after Tuesday’s chiropractor appointment, the pain came back just as loud as before.  So this time I broke out my Louise Hay book on mental causes for physical illness and the metaphysical way to overcome them.  

For instance, Louise says neck pain is the side effect of refusing to see other sides of a question; stubbornness and inflexibility.  Or as I like to say, “Closed minded.”  

When Tuesday night arrived and bedtime came around, I changed my prayer for David from, “Please take away his suffering and help him pass away with grace,” to “Help my brother heal and recover from this ordeal.”

And when Wednesday morning arrived, I prayed again.  This time I asked in the name of our Lord Jesus, “Help my brother recover from this awful nightmare.”

By noon David’s mom text me that David woke up, and he’s responding to commands.  He has a long way to go.  He isn’t talking or moving his arms, and I know he can’t walk.  He hasn’t walked on his own for about a year now I guess.    But talk about a miracle!  This dude’s blowing my mind!   

Louise be blowing my mind too.  I changed my thinking and the way I prayed, and when Thursday came the headache was gone.  After supper, when I began to relax for the evening, my shoulder and neck became a little stiff, but no headache.  

I decided to keep my Friday morning chiropractor appointment.  After all, there apparently was still some physical healing needed.  I shared my little story with my doctor, but she didn’t share in my perspective.  And you might not either.  But you’ll never know if you never try.   Believing is seeing for yourself.

If you’re interested, Louise Hay’s book is called, “Heal Your Body.”  I paid $12.99 for a copy on amazon.com.  Louise will show you how to heal the mind; you’ll still need to see your doctor to heal the physical.   

Science has proven that the mind has power over the body.  If you keep healing and falling to bad health again, you most certainly want to consider changing the way you the think.  

A Kiss From A Thousand Ancestors

I come from a small town in Central Ohio.  I don’t visit much.  It can be somewhat depressing, since it’s decline in the 80’s.  But my roots begin there.

The speed limit throughout the entire town is 35 miles per hour; sometimes 25.  Considering the small size of the city, it’s a wonder why anyone would drive a car.  It seems more fitting to ride a bicycle or maybe a scooter.  

The roads are full of holes from the winter freeze and lost dreams of decay stand abandoned to remind all of what was to be.   And my friends are just as lost and rejected as the town itself.  There is no growth, just a slow death of intoxication and coffin nails hidden behind the smoke.  Drugs, dogs and death, said my mom.  

I love my family.  I use to dream that one day I would return home and save the town.  But when I visit, I never cry when I leave.  I make tracks.  Life is much more attractive from a facebook perspective of pretty holiday photos of brightly lit colors; a lot of Sloopy red.  And that’s how I hang that hat.

But when a love one tugs at those roots that connect my heart to my feet, I follow the trail I made and I make my way back.   And that’s just what happened, when my brother David went into a coma, and the doctors declared there was nothing more that they could do for him.  

David is my half brother; my dad’s son.  He’s eleven years younger than I, and he has had a cyst on his brain for sixteen years now.  Statistically, he should have died six years ago.  

This past year has been very difficult for David.  He has had at least three brain surgeries, due to new cyst/tumors; he’s been treated for prostate cancer and liver cancer; he’s had kidney problems; he broke his hip due to falling at home, and while he was in Intensive Care at O.S.U. Medical, he fell out of his bed and broke his other hip, within days of the first break; and he has stroked out two or three times now - all within a year.

But, David blew the doctors away.  David cheated death, and I blazed my way back to Ohio grateful to see a living being and not a corpse in a box.  

A little family history – David doesn’t share my last name, even though by all rights, he should, but our father, for personal reasons, would have nothing to do with David, other than paying child support.   

When David was a child, he skipped school and walked to our dad’s shop just to see him.  I don’t think it went over well from what David had told me.  To this day, I can’t even begin to imagine my dad denying me, in front of the same employees where he prided me as the one most like him; the thought alone shatters my heart.

Although I had very limited contact with David, when he was a child, we became close after dad passed away.  I was just as much of an outcast as David, especially after my father’s passing.  

For example, my other two siblings have met David, but they have never pursued a relationship with him.  His name most likely wouldn’t be spoken and contact would have never been made, if it wasn’t for me.  I make a point of keeping them abreast of David’s condition, because David is family too, and I’m not going to allow them to erase his existence, as if he had never happened.  

My brother is not an ugly mistake that should be hidden.

Dad on the Left - David on the Right

Dad actually tried to contact David a month before he passed away.  He left David a message, referring to his self as “dad.”  But as you can imagine, David was in no hurry to return the phone call, and time ran out sooner than he thought.  That was in 1996.

Within the six years after David and I reconnected, I had introduced him to cousins and aunts that we shared through our father.  But then I moved to Florida, and shortly afterwards, David was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  Because of his condition, David no longer traveled.  Between radiation, chemo, and all the other stuff that goes along with being a cancer patient, he stayed in Ohio to be close to his doctors.

So I’m excited.  I haven’t seen David in quite awhile.  It’s a twelve hour drive from Pensacola to Columbus, and I’ll do it in a day.  It is always breathtaking awe when I twist and roll down the hills of Kentucky on I-71 Northbound and get first sight of Cincinnati.  Ah, heavy sigh of relief; Buckeye Nation at last!

As soon as my tires hit the bridge that crosses the Ohio River, my radio rocks AC/DC’s, “Back in Black.”  A tear came to my eye, and I thank the ancestors for their company on this journey.  Then a flock of birds flew over the car as they came towards me, from right to left; too many to count.   It was a really cool moment to say the least.   “A thousand ancestors,” I said to myself.  Then the song, Jamie’s Cryin’ (by Van Halen) confirmed and sealed the moment to be shared later.

And when I was finally at my bothers side, and I reached down to kiss him on the forehead, I felt those same ancestors surge through my feet upward, and from my lips they kissed David with me.  

The second day I seen David, he looked much better and we actually laughed as we visited.

It has been six weeks since my trip to Ohio, and David has been in the hospital twice since then.  On May 7^th, we were told that the left side of David’s brain herniated into the right side.  The David I knew is gone.  It has been three days, and he is unresponsive.    

Today, as I sit on my back porch, a small feather falls from the sky, from right to left, and I am reminded, “A thousand ancestors.”   Two cardinals dance and play along the fence line as I imagine the joy of such a homecoming.   I can think of no one more deserving.  What was lost on Earth, will found in the next life. 

It has been such a blessing and an honor to call David my brother.   Much love brother.

FORGIVNESS AFFIRMATIONS by Louise Hay

 “You have a choice.  You can choose to stay stuck and bitter, or do yourself a favor by willingly forgiving the past and let it go.  And then move on to create a joyous fulfilling life.  You have the freedom to make your life anything you want it to be, because you have freedom of choice.” – Louise Hay

Daily affirmations are short positive declarations intended to change or affirm a belief.    Repeat an affirmation often and eventually the subconscious mind will accept that affirmation as truth.  Write affirmation(s) out on little post it notes and stick them to the mirror.  Look yourself in the eye and repeat them.

The door to my heart opens inwards.

I move through forgiveness to love.

As I change my thoughts, the world around me changes.

The past is over, so it has no power now.

The thoughts of this moment create my future.

It is no fun being a victim; I refuse to be helpless anymore.

I claim my own power.

I give myself the gift of freedom from the past and move with joy into the now.

There is no problem too big or too small that it cannot be solved with love.

I am ready to be healed, I am willing to forgive, and all is well.

I know that old negative patterns no longer limit me; I let them go with ease.

As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.

I forgive myself for not being perfect; I am living the very best way I know how.

It is now safe for me to release all my childhood traumas and move into love.

I forgiver everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs; I release them with love.

All of the changes in life that lie before me are positive ones, and I am safe.