THE POWER OF WORDS

Whether we like it or not, the thoughts and opinions of others can and do influence our lives.  In December of 2014, I woke up after exploratory surgery to find that I now had to wear colostomy bag (temporarily).  While I was more concerned about simply walking again and regaining my strength, I found that most of my family and friends put more emphasis on that colostomy bag.  “Don’t worry Kim, it’s just temporary. The year will fly by in no time.”  Then they would shoot me that look; the one of pity as the visitor waved goodbye.    

 

The hospital supplied me with information regarding how to care for this instrument that was attached to my abdomen.  They told me I could go swimming, and work a job just like before.  Yet my family frowned and said there was no way I could work as long as I had to wear this bag.  What if you get in an embarrassing situation?  What if you have to empty your bag, or even worse yet, what if you have an accident, like a blowout?

I did eventually have that blowout.  I just happened to be at home when it occurred, and my other half was there as well.  If this accident had happened at work, it most certainly would have been one of the most embarrassing moments in my life, and I don’t think I would have been able to cope rationally.  I would have probably run out of the building screaming.  It would have been just as bad if I was at home alone. 

I suddenly came to realize that I had a handicap.  I filed for short-term Social Security Disability.  I answered hundreds of questions regarding my current situation.  And eventually I found myself playing the victim, instead of being a survivor.  I even found myself in the hospital a second time.

This time I had drains hooked to both sides of my body.  I had four total; three of which I had at the same time.  This went on for about 5 weeks.  It really sucked and I knew I had to do something about it, if I was going to have any chance of living a full and happy life again. 

The colostomy bag was mute in comparison to the drains that hung from my sides.  One of the drains had to be flushed daily.  It wasn’t a pleasant experience by far.  Every once in a while I would move the wrong way or too fast and I would feel them pulling at my side.  One of them eventually came lose from my body.

When the drains were finally removed, I felt free.  Even with the colostomy bag, I felt this heavy burden lift from me.  I had lost a lot of weight and strength in the past 6 months due to my illness, but I’m no longer a victim.  I’m a survivor! 

So please, don’t think of me with pity in your heart.  Do not plant the seeds of doubt in my mind by telling me what I can or can not do.  If anything, demand of me now as you had before.  And I in turn will do the same.  Only then are you a help instead of a hindrance. 

Never forget that your words and actions carry power.