Suicide

I don’t know why, but on Saturday I found myself in a very dark place.  I felt so sad, and I found myself crying, a lot!  Regardless of how much I wanted to turn my thoughts around, I could not.  All hope was lost.  We live on a fucked up little planet with fucked up little people who are happy slinging shit at one another, like primates. I’m not sure as to what exactly triggered all this, but I had to stop this blackness that creped deep into my soul.  My focus quickly turned to suicide.  So I researched the subject and sorrow gripped my heart even tighter. 

Suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death in the United States.  Each year 44,193 Americans die by suicide; numbers are estimated to be higher; but the stigma attached to suicide often leads to underreporting.   For every suicide it is estimated there were 25 others who attempted to kill themselves.  On average there are 121 suicides per day.  Firearms account for almost 50% of all suicides.   Men die by suicide 3.5 times more often than women, yet females attempt suicide 3 times more than males.  The rate is the highest among middle aged men (white men in particular). 

Wyoming has the most suicides in the U.S.  Alaska ranks 2^nd, Montana 3^rd, New Mexico 4^th, Utah 5^th, Idaho 6^th, and the State of Florida ranks 29^th.  Over twice as many people die by suicide in the State of Florida annually than by homicide. 

The New York Times reported, in April 2016, that suicides surged to its highest rates in nearly 30 years.  The rates rose by 2% per year beginning in 2006.  The article went on to say that, “American Indians had the sharpest rise of all racial and ethnic groups, with rates rising by 89 percent for women and 38 percent for men. White middle-aged women had an increase of 80 percent.”

Collectively we are not happy people; we have to turn this all around and bring happy back.  2006 is the year of the Amish school shootings.    It’s the year of the Enron trial, and the year Saddam Hussein was sentenced to death; money, guns and oil.

You know there’s a serious issue when a society’s self destructive behavior impacts a self-sufficient community that is totally disengaged from the modern civilization.  Events such as 9-11, and the Amish schools shootings serve as road signs as to what’s to come, if we continue down this road of destruction. 

By Saturday afternoon, I just shut down.  I drowned myself in alcohol until I couldn’t think anymore, and passed out early with an upset stomach.  It was dark when I awoke, and I found myself in regret for wasting an entire day in such a manner. 

I rose early Sunday morning anticipating a day at the beach.  But I still wasn’t myself.  Instead of music thumping my ear drums, I found myself listening to Louise Hay affirmations that I had recorded from YouTube, as I rooted myself to the Earth and absorbed the radiating energy of the sun. 

By the end of the day I was feeling more like myself, and even more so on Monday.  I can not tell you how I was drawn into such a dark place that Saturday, but I can tell you this, it’ll get better.  The more we work on healing our own sorrow, the better our world becomes.

(afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics)

Suicide Prevention Hotlines Serving Pensacola

850-438-1617 or 850-623-6363