Being too critical of others can make you a mean-spirited person, regardless if you’re the perpetrator or the victim. People criticize their selves as well as others for many reasons. Some of us use criticism with the intention of protecting others, or when we feel the need to protect our own self-image. Our intentions may be honorable, but when we are critical of others, we are focusing on the negative, instead of the good.
Other words that share meaning with the word critical include: demanding, belittling, condemning, cynical, demeaning, derogatory, sarcastic, fault-finding, and scolding.
Yet with proper balance, criticism can be a good thing. Critical thinking is a necessity to our evolution. If it wasn’t for the criticism of others, would we attempt to better ourselves?
To find balance, we need to train our minds to look for the good. Ron Potter-Efron, the author of, “Stop The Anger Now,” suggests setting a goal for 24 hours to notice how many good things about the world and your surroundings as you can. Do this everyday for a month. This will assist in training your brain to think differently.
Second, Efron suggest that during those moments you when you see only the bad points of a situation, that you set a goal to see the good. He further suggests using the following question, “I could have complained about ___________, but instead I noticed ___________.” He says the more we train ourselves to look for the good, the more we’ll see it.
Thirdly, look at the critic within. If you are critical of others, then you most certainly are demanding of yourself. Pay attention to the cynical things you think and feel about yourself. Keep a journal and write these thoughts down; release the burden they bring and lighten up.
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