PEOPLE & HOSPITALS

Today I went to the hospital to visit a friend who just had surgery yesterday.  When I was leaving, I stepped into an elevator full of people.  A woman to my left said, “Your hair smells good.”

At first, I didn’t realize she was talking to me.  I guess it was the dead silence afterwards that caught my attention, “Are you talking to me?”

I heard a laugh to my right, as the woman to my left smiled and replied, “Yes,” as she reached towards the back of my head and stroked my hair once.

Some people may have been offended by a stranger touching them, but I just had to smile as I thanked her for the compliment. 

You put people in hospitals and they become your best friend.  They are so much more compassionate.  Before you leave, you will know no stranger.  And I’m not talking about patients, nurses or doctors; I’m talking about those who visit their loved ones.  Like the people in the elevator. 

“But hospitals are so depressing,” I hear this all of the time.  And yes, I believe that visitors are just as vulnerable as the patients, maybe even more.  As a result people open their hearts to perfect strangers.  And it works both ways.  Not only do they wish to talk about why their loved one is there in the hospital, they want to know your story too. 

Grab a seat in a waiting room, and you’ll see what I mean; especially in an intensive care unit.  Families of ten or more will camp out in an I.C.U. waiting room.   The more intense the illness, the more friendly they are. 

Maybe it is because the threat of death reminds us that we are all in this boat together, when facing our immortality.  Or maybe it’s simply that healing energy we bring to those we care for, who are weak.  Either way, if you have lost your faith in humanity, then visit a hospital.  I guarantee you’ll see the best of humankind.

 

 

KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES

When I was a kid, “Keeping up with the Joneses” was comparing your self financially to others.  It is a form of conspicuous consumption; gaining social status from the public display of economic power.  But by today’s social standards it’s more like measuring your worth to food stamps, and a welfare check.

People are actually comparing themselves to those of us less fortunate, with jealousy and envy.  Facebook memes circulate showing people on food stamps with a full refrigerator and the working class with empty refrigerators, as if there is any truth to the comparison.  In addition they judge the poor as being less deserving of cable television and a cigarette habit.  Where’s the compassion? 

The bible is full of stories regarding the poor.  Deuteronomy 15:11 states, “For there will never cease to be poor in the land.  Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’”

Take for instance Jesus, who was a long haired barefoot dude who relied heavily on the compassion of others for shelter and food, as he traveled the country side spreading the word of God, he hung out with poor people. 

Researchers have discovered that poor people are often more compassionate than individuals who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth.  They concluded to be born privileged is to be denied the challenges that promote empathy and gratitude.

From a psychological view, comparing your self to others will only make you unhappy; plain and simple.   Regardless of the subject, it is negative behavior. 

If you want good things to happen for you in life, you must keep your thoughts positive. Change your thoughts to those of gratitude. Be grateful for what you have.   When you are grateful, more good things will come to you.  But if you are negative in your thoughts, you close the door on the endless possibilities that await you.

In the words of Sri Chinmoy, an Indian spiritual master, and recipient of the Mahatma Gandhi Universal Harmony Award, as well as the Mother Teresa Award, “Let us serve the world soulfully.  The pay we will receive for our service will be in the currency of gratitude.  God’s gratitude.”

It is better to be fruitful than to be condemning.  Now go and spread the seeds of love.

THE EVIL IN ME

We are all born with a dark side.  We live in a world of duality.  For every action there is a reaction, good and bad.  Take for instance the Internet.  Although it’s like a huge spider web that connects us all, and gives access to greater knowledge, it is also used in negative ways as well.  There’s child pornography, and those who use it to spread their hatefulness of others.

Even now as I write, someone is going to hate this post, while others will like it.  That’s just the way it is.  And this is why we have to be more accepting of each other and exercise a little forgiveness.  The evil in me is the evil in you too.  I can accept the title of asshole occasionally, because I can be one.

The other morning I went to the laundry matt, because the bed comforters are too heavy for my washer.  I use there side loader and can wash both comforters at the same time, and save the wear and tear on my own washing machine. 

The lady who tends the machines and makes change made a comment about how nice I was on this day.  She was like, “You’re usually a little uptight when you come in here.”

Somewhat offended, I started to reiterate what had happened to me on one visit months before.  Of course she knew the story though, because I had complained to her about the dude who had made me move my car so he could power wash the parking lot.  Being a paying customer, I was upset by the inconvenience and asked her why this wasn’t being done after business hours?

Anyway, as fast as I started rehashing the story, I stopped. I began to sense all that negativity as I spoke and I didn’t want to reinforce her judgment from our previous run in, because regardless, our view points were conflicting.  Nothing I said was going to change that.  So I told her, “Well you know, we all have our good days, and we all have our bad days.” 

She asked me to repeat myself, then thought about it for a second, then agreed with me, “You got that right,” she replied with a chuckle.

It isn’t always that easy to recognize when you’re wrong. Sometimes you think you stand on the side of righteousness, yet in another’s reality, you’re being a real asshole.  It’s just a matter of perspective; whose eyes you use to view any given situation.

To be compassionate of others is to be compassionate to yourself.  Forgive others and you will be forgiving of yourself.   After all, we are all human.  To be human is not to be perfect, but to be accepting of our own faults, as well as the faults of others.